Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
:)
travelling is fun... i like planning for trips too. so exciting.. after europe, next up in the pipeline is somewhere near... somewhere that starts with a 'B'..
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Religions
Read yahoo news, learnt about the latest religion saga. the same religion again. sigh. someone posted this under comments, which i agree.
By Mr Piya Tan, a Buddhist,
Stories we live by
You name your God, I name mine. This has been going on since we first wondered why the sun rises, why there are stars in the night sky, why the wind blows and water flows, why we are here, why we die. It was a time long before science and human awakening. When people could not find the right answers for such things, they tell stories about it.
Some thinkers say that the kind of God that a tribe or group worships reflects their common struggles and hopes, and this story holds them together. But now our various communities throughout the world are becoming more globalized. We keep bumping into one other’s Gods.
In our global community, we can see a few interesting reactions to the God stories. Firstly, there are those who claim “my God” is better than yours: they are like selfish children; it is best to leave them alone. One great weakness of such a story-group is that their lives are moulded and guided by differences rather than by similarities. They live in a black-and-white world where “friends” are those who think and live like them; those who are different are “enemies”; those who fit into neither category are “strangers” to be converted, appropriated. There is a lot of measuring of humanity here, as if it is a measurable commodity.
Then, there are some God story tellers who see a commonalty in our need for a higher purpose: it does not really matter which God, they are wont to say. The story matters more than the story-teller, even the story-maker. Let us walk humbly with our God, they preach. This is a more empowering approach, as it allows everyone of us to be truly friendly to everyone else. There is much less measuring of humanity here. The main problem, however, is that there can be a lot of superficiality here, like a nicely packaged box, or one with layers of nice wrappings, but the content is really paltry, or nothing really.
The third group simply says, hey, these are just stories, great stories, but please look for their meanings. Stories may divide us, their spirit brings our hearts closer together. Let us live by the spirit, what the stories are really trying to tell us. The fact is that we cannot live by stories alone: we must live life as it comes. Stories may be about what the world can be or should be, but life is what things really are. So we need a reality check.
If we are truly honest with ourselves, we are likely to notice that no matter how “perfect” the story we live by may be, the ending is not always what we expect it to be. The thing about stories is that once we know their ending, it becomes boring; we then forget what the story is really about. Or we invent our own ending to the story; in which case, we don’t really need the story, after all.
There is something much better than any story, even better than all the stories that can ever be told. That is, to look deep into ourselves. What do we notice? We might notice, if we look deeply enough, that we have a lot of thoughts rushing through our minds — these are our great story tellers.
Our minds are the greatest story tellers. They are often very self-centred story tellers, for the simple reason our minds are, as a rule, unaware of other minds. If we look even deeper, we will see that our minds or hearts have lives of their own. We really have no control over them, and this is what the stories are about. They are our attempts at harnessing the wildness and wilderness that are our hearts. The God story seems the best story to do so.
But let us look deeper into ourselves. While our minds differentiate us with our stories, there is something that is intimately “us” from day one, something that runs the same way in all of us, whether we are human, beast, or alien. No matter which universe or multiverse we are in: we breathe, and we all breathe the same way. To breathe is to live, to live is to breathe.
Our perspective of life is inextricably and essentially linked to the way we breathe. The more violent we are, the heavier we tend to breathe. To breathe is also to slow-burn ourselves up, as it were. As such, the more violently we breathe, the faster is the burning, the more violent our lives become.
Even in physical exercise, there comes a time when our breathing flows harmoniously with our bodies. Then body and mind act as one. Yet, there are times when we need to simply sit comfortably still and forget about the body for a while. There is just the breath, getting ever more peaceful. It comes to such still point, a radiant stillness, that the joy is unspeakable.
This is the well-spring of religion: it is the realizing of our true selves. We seem to be just a blink in the vast moonless cloudless night sky, amongst billions of other twinkling stars. What beautiful stars, what blissful space! This is the religion that needs no converts, that can never have followers. For we have come to the journey’s joyful end. We’re truly home.
PiyaTan ©2010
By Mr Piya Tan, a Buddhist,
Stories we live by
You name your God, I name mine. This has been going on since we first wondered why the sun rises, why there are stars in the night sky, why the wind blows and water flows, why we are here, why we die. It was a time long before science and human awakening. When people could not find the right answers for such things, they tell stories about it.
Some thinkers say that the kind of God that a tribe or group worships reflects their common struggles and hopes, and this story holds them together. But now our various communities throughout the world are becoming more globalized. We keep bumping into one other’s Gods.
In our global community, we can see a few interesting reactions to the God stories. Firstly, there are those who claim “my God” is better than yours: they are like selfish children; it is best to leave them alone. One great weakness of such a story-group is that their lives are moulded and guided by differences rather than by similarities. They live in a black-and-white world where “friends” are those who think and live like them; those who are different are “enemies”; those who fit into neither category are “strangers” to be converted, appropriated. There is a lot of measuring of humanity here, as if it is a measurable commodity.
Then, there are some God story tellers who see a commonalty in our need for a higher purpose: it does not really matter which God, they are wont to say. The story matters more than the story-teller, even the story-maker. Let us walk humbly with our God, they preach. This is a more empowering approach, as it allows everyone of us to be truly friendly to everyone else. There is much less measuring of humanity here. The main problem, however, is that there can be a lot of superficiality here, like a nicely packaged box, or one with layers of nice wrappings, but the content is really paltry, or nothing really.
The third group simply says, hey, these are just stories, great stories, but please look for their meanings. Stories may divide us, their spirit brings our hearts closer together. Let us live by the spirit, what the stories are really trying to tell us. The fact is that we cannot live by stories alone: we must live life as it comes. Stories may be about what the world can be or should be, but life is what things really are. So we need a reality check.
If we are truly honest with ourselves, we are likely to notice that no matter how “perfect” the story we live by may be, the ending is not always what we expect it to be. The thing about stories is that once we know their ending, it becomes boring; we then forget what the story is really about. Or we invent our own ending to the story; in which case, we don’t really need the story, after all.
There is something much better than any story, even better than all the stories that can ever be told. That is, to look deep into ourselves. What do we notice? We might notice, if we look deeply enough, that we have a lot of thoughts rushing through our minds — these are our great story tellers.
Our minds are the greatest story tellers. They are often very self-centred story tellers, for the simple reason our minds are, as a rule, unaware of other minds. If we look even deeper, we will see that our minds or hearts have lives of their own. We really have no control over them, and this is what the stories are about. They are our attempts at harnessing the wildness and wilderness that are our hearts. The God story seems the best story to do so.
But let us look deeper into ourselves. While our minds differentiate us with our stories, there is something that is intimately “us” from day one, something that runs the same way in all of us, whether we are human, beast, or alien. No matter which universe or multiverse we are in: we breathe, and we all breathe the same way. To breathe is to live, to live is to breathe.
Our perspective of life is inextricably and essentially linked to the way we breathe. The more violent we are, the heavier we tend to breathe. To breathe is also to slow-burn ourselves up, as it were. As such, the more violently we breathe, the faster is the burning, the more violent our lives become.
Even in physical exercise, there comes a time when our breathing flows harmoniously with our bodies. Then body and mind act as one. Yet, there are times when we need to simply sit comfortably still and forget about the body for a while. There is just the breath, getting ever more peaceful. It comes to such still point, a radiant stillness, that the joy is unspeakable.
This is the well-spring of religion: it is the realizing of our true selves. We seem to be just a blink in the vast moonless cloudless night sky, amongst billions of other twinkling stars. What beautiful stars, what blissful space! This is the religion that needs no converts, that can never have followers. For we have come to the journey’s joyful end. We’re truly home.
PiyaTan ©2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
ended CDC attachment. Quite an eye opener in e past 2 weeks. Many young HIV members, screened and newly Dx either before NS or before ORD. Bisexual, MSM etc. Old man who ve gotten t a few yrs mostly through CSW.
To me, choice of partners is a lifestyle choice. Felt sorry for some of them. They are as innocent as another person who caught a flu from ther partner. Initially, all of them r so normal looking. Like any of our friends. How hard muz it b for them to carry such a heavy secret with them ard. Imagine, teenagers younger than me..
Tts in the clinic.
The ward has some end stage patients.. All sorts of complications hound them, refusing to budge. Spiking fever like nobody's business. I got to noe Mr X, a long term IVDA, member of coz, who was prev residing at a halfway house. IVDA is a bit wasteful la. But he talked to me n i felt pitiful for him. Lodging is a BIG problem for these patients if family support is low. They live lifes without a fixed residence. Shuttling between hospitals (shld there b an acute infection) and whichever halfway house or volunteary housing that hav space to take them in.. Mr X was complaining to me of the restrited life he was place under at his new lodging.. His prev loding that he liked that some probs w him hence he was not placed there after his discharge this time..
sigh.. i hope that these patients will take god care of themselves. guai guai take their ARTs, don miss doses, practice public responsibility. Good luck n jiayou!
To me, choice of partners is a lifestyle choice. Felt sorry for some of them. They are as innocent as another person who caught a flu from ther partner. Initially, all of them r so normal looking. Like any of our friends. How hard muz it b for them to carry such a heavy secret with them ard. Imagine, teenagers younger than me..
Tts in the clinic.
The ward has some end stage patients.. All sorts of complications hound them, refusing to budge. Spiking fever like nobody's business. I got to noe Mr X, a long term IVDA, member of coz, who was prev residing at a halfway house. IVDA is a bit wasteful la. But he talked to me n i felt pitiful for him. Lodging is a BIG problem for these patients if family support is low. They live lifes without a fixed residence. Shuttling between hospitals (shld there b an acute infection) and whichever halfway house or volunteary housing that hav space to take them in.. Mr X was complaining to me of the restrited life he was place under at his new lodging.. His prev loding that he liked that some probs w him hence he was not placed there after his discharge this time..
sigh.. i hope that these patients will take god care of themselves. guai guai take their ARTs, don miss doses, practice public responsibility. Good luck n jiayou!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Alone
I went to e temple tdy, alone.
Went there to let go of some stuff.
Then I walked to e coffeeshop down tt corridor
sat there n ate lunch at 5, alone.
then I walked to e busstop,
I tot I saw someone n tt made my heart skipped a beat;
I wave at e person.
Lucky it was a stranger. Lucky..
Better nt appear at tt moment
I can't handle it.
Then I went home, at peace.
Went there to let go of some stuff.
Then I walked to e coffeeshop down tt corridor
sat there n ate lunch at 5, alone.
then I walked to e busstop,
I tot I saw someone n tt made my heart skipped a beat;
I wave at e person.
Lucky it was a stranger. Lucky..
Better nt appear at tt moment
I can't handle it.
Then I went home, at peace.
Monday, January 18, 2010
A long time ago before I stopped actively blogging, I ever wondered how nice it would b if I can jus connect a wire to my head n sync watever I wan to say into words n post it on blog.. nt realli thee yet bt close now wy new I phone!! Hee. Su0pose to get it for work purpose shun Bianfor leisure. Nw I can really post as I walk.. Save some time hopefully can study one more chap tis way. Haha. Found a good bubble tea shop at bedok interchange recently. San told me bout it. My 3rd cup so far coz it's nt cheap n interchange nt near for me.. Good also if nt waste $$ k hopefully w tis tea go home hav eneegy chiong. Jiayou. Two more mths!!! Cannot upload photos. Hmm try again next time
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
it was a merry merry xmas at work.. pre-regs rockz!!! all of us planned hard, cooperate w lots of chemistry, n played hard too!
i won the hamper that i was suppose to give out! hohoho.. pretty pretty picnic basket!! i can go picnic loh!!!
i hope i can stay n grow healthily w ttsh n its ppl.. hopez.. brains where r u!!!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
i love the underwaters. jus saw video. tot to share.
when i was young, i m fascinated by wats in the deep seas n oceans and wats up there in the deep universe.. like to imagine wat are there residing in those places... aliens i don noe. but apparently in the deep waters more n more new creatures are being found.. the deep seas are deep n dark, no doubt dangers lurking, there's still so much unknown..
who noes, there may realli be loch ness.. my childhood fantasy till now.. let me see one, jus a baby one will do.
when i was young, i m fascinated by wats in the deep seas n oceans and wats up there in the deep universe.. like to imagine wat are there residing in those places... aliens i don noe. but apparently in the deep waters more n more new creatures are being found.. the deep seas are deep n dark, no doubt dangers lurking, there's still so much unknown..
who noes, there may realli be loch ness.. my childhood fantasy till now.. let me see one, jus a baby one will do.
took leave to study viva, ended up wasting time. i tink i've alreadi forgotten how to study. v tired, i even took a nap, which i seldom do unless i m sick. if i were to study like i did now during my sch yrs, i wonder whether i will even get into uni. haha. i think compared to last time, i m more kan kai. haha no urgency yet..
i wan shopping, i wan to go fly kite, i wan to watch new moon, i wan to play badminton.... anything but study. after next week... quick...
i wan shopping, i wan to go fly kite, i wan to watch new moon, i wan to play badminton.... anything but study. after next week... quick...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
some happy tots.. checked recently w the pharmacist in charge of planning roster, she told me a confirmed pharmacist 1 yr got 21 days leave.. woa.. i dunno wats e 'market rate' now. but 21 days sounds like a lot to me. haha. maybe i mountain tortoise, maybe otehrs are getting more than me. but i m happy liao.. but this year, pre-reg yr don hav so many la.. 12 days over the 9mths only.. n i guess most of us will take it to study for our tests n exams whihc are impossible to study if working..
next big exam on 3rd nov, me taking 2 days leave next week to study.. how useful i dunno.. hopefully productive bah..
but like an abscess that needs debridement, there is so many things to clear before i can realli sit down to study. hence that translates to 'i don think i can finish'.. woahaha.
there will b a way out, somewhere, somehow
next big exam on 3rd nov, me taking 2 days leave next week to study.. how useful i dunno.. hopefully productive bah..
but like an abscess that needs debridement, there is so many things to clear before i can realli sit down to study. hence that translates to 'i don think i can finish'.. woahaha.
there will b a way out, somewhere, somehow
Monday, November 16, 2009
i m too lazy. even jus by a click of the button.. i guess no one reads this anymore... haha even friends who used to ask me update don remind me anymore.. i guess my bad habit of 3 min excitement has once again die down.
year end again. planning for xmas party at work.
looking forward to my sis 21st bday party.
i cant believe this year is gg to end soon. so much happened this year. as a person, so much changes took place. i see myself morph into a working adult. i start to see my future more clearly. as my friend n i were chatting bout the next candle onto our cake, the topic both of us were discussing was so foreign jus a few mths ago.. so much has changed.
changed for the better i hope.
year end again. planning for xmas party at work.
looking forward to my sis 21st bday party.
i cant believe this year is gg to end soon. so much happened this year. as a person, so much changes took place. i see myself morph into a working adult. i start to see my future more clearly. as my friend n i were chatting bout the next candle onto our cake, the topic both of us were discussing was so foreign jus a few mths ago.. so much has changed.
changed for the better i hope.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
long hair.. no time to cut.. actually it's more of dunno what to do with it..
perm to make my face look bigger?
rebond and end up not being able to tie my hair and sweat to death in the wards?
or to cut short then lament about how much hair i've cut for the next 48h as though it will never ever grow back?
i wan to dye, but to sit a few hours away in a salon during my precious 1 1/2 day weekend seems a bit too wasteful for now.. (my friend said she was reading notes while the stylist did her hair. good suggestion. but her colour ended up redder than expected.. there goes tt idea)
so now i bun it up.. BORING!!!
perm to make my face look bigger?
rebond and end up not being able to tie my hair and sweat to death in the wards?
or to cut short then lament about how much hair i've cut for the next 48h as though it will never ever grow back?
i wan to dye, but to sit a few hours away in a salon during my precious 1 1/2 day weekend seems a bit too wasteful for now.. (my friend said she was reading notes while the stylist did her hair. good suggestion. but her colour ended up redder than expected.. there goes tt idea)
so now i bun it up.. BORING!!!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
i dunno wat happened to my blog setup.. its weird.. the whole format in the editing post page is screwed up. I cant add images for a long time.. the icon vanished.. there is nothing for me to click on to do so..
had been a hectic 2 and half months so far. and finally, i m suffering from down-time.. Flu these few days. todae cannot take it liao, went see doc. Order meds from the doctor. haha. Nowadays when i go see doctor, its quite irritating sometimes. I roughly have to know what meds to ask from the doctor coz when they noe bout ur job, they expect u to tell them wat u wan. Simple meds i m still ok.. but when sick hav to think, argh. Need the free meds, need the mc, bo bian, 'hi doc'
funny thing is my partner, mindy also sick!! haha both of us down with URTI.. but she hav fever i do not. i hav sore throat she does not. the rest of the symptoms are the same liao.. She both of us go see doc tog todae. got mc tog this morning. but both of us left at onli ard 3pm coz had to clear some work..
After we got the prescription from the doc, we made our way down to the pharmacy to get our meds. I self created an account for myself, type in the doc orders for the meds, confirmed the orders, packed my own meds, checked my own meds, and as a rule, ask a pharmacist to double check n dispense to me. So cool rite, how often patients DIY till like tt.. hhaaa.
我是病人.....
had been a hectic 2 and half months so far. and finally, i m suffering from down-time.. Flu these few days. todae cannot take it liao, went see doc. Order meds from the doctor. haha. Nowadays when i go see doctor, its quite irritating sometimes. I roughly have to know what meds to ask from the doctor coz when they noe bout ur job, they expect u to tell them wat u wan. Simple meds i m still ok.. but when sick hav to think, argh. Need the free meds, need the mc, bo bian, 'hi doc'
funny thing is my partner, mindy also sick!! haha both of us down with URTI.. but she hav fever i do not. i hav sore throat she does not. the rest of the symptoms are the same liao.. She both of us go see doc tog todae. got mc tog this morning. but both of us left at onli ard 3pm coz had to clear some work..
After we got the prescription from the doc, we made our way down to the pharmacy to get our meds. I self created an account for myself, type in the doc orders for the meds, confirmed the orders, packed my own meds, checked my own meds, and as a rule, ask a pharmacist to double check n dispense to me. So cool rite, how often patients DIY till like tt.. hhaaa.
我是病人.....
Monday, August 10, 2009
worked tdy. but it was quite fun! haha. worked w my preceptor n another 3 other pharmacist. with me, is my friend cum colleague, entian. hmm 6 of us managed to supply the meds needed by 13 levels of wards on time at 2pm!! was a feat i muz say. coz i was told by other pharm techicians tt usually Sundays n PH r v busy one. somehow, ppl tend to get discharge more and so more will get admitted. was told tt if i m unlucky, may drag on till 4+... but tdy the pharmacists on duty were realli v chop chop n efficient! *claps n cheers* wah, tdy quite a lot of unexpected things happened still can ping ping an an in the end n on target somemore.. heng ah!
i getting more n more pei fu of my preceptor.. realli zai n nt ur typical pharmacist. something in her tts different. may b a blessing to b under her.. still early. will give full conclusion 7mths later :p
i getting more n more pei fu of my preceptor.. realli zai n nt ur typical pharmacist. something in her tts different. may b a blessing to b under her.. still early. will give full conclusion 7mths later :p
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Completed my first 6weeks rotation at Retail.. learned quite a lot of stuff there n i love the interaction with all the customers.. maybe is i lucky, didnt realli meet with many difficult customers.. i love my job!!!
at my half days in Outpatient Pharmacy, it was also very exciting and fun.. a lot of new things to learn.. not only the medications side (which i m totally not good at all), its also the operational side.. the processing, the interventions.
Standing is realli tired. Pharmacists hav almost no chance to sit at all.. (at least in Retail n OP). my legs got so sore n tired after 4 days of wearing sandals w heels tt i couldnt walk much the following 2 days.. And guess wat, after that episode, i got to know that my feet got high arch, hence the imbalance in pressure. AFTER 22 yrs.. hmm. Since for 22 yrs i din noe n it din cause much harm, i shall remain it that way then.
Next stop is Drug Info Service.. 6 weeks. Hmm this rotation, i will get to sit till my butt get pressure sores i suppose. Will be staying whole day in office, enriching my little brain and learning how to deal with qns by doc, patients, nurses who call in.. Phone operator. Hopefully, i get to catch up on my knowledge side in this 6 weeks.. I cant be a pharmacist who is good in interaction n soft skills yet hav no knowledge to offer or empower others.. that would b so sad..
Looking forward.. Hopefully, being a pharmacist is wat i m realli suited for. Hope i hav found my true calling
at my half days in Outpatient Pharmacy, it was also very exciting and fun.. a lot of new things to learn.. not only the medications side (which i m totally not good at all), its also the operational side.. the processing, the interventions.
Standing is realli tired. Pharmacists hav almost no chance to sit at all.. (at least in Retail n OP). my legs got so sore n tired after 4 days of wearing sandals w heels tt i couldnt walk much the following 2 days.. And guess wat, after that episode, i got to know that my feet got high arch, hence the imbalance in pressure. AFTER 22 yrs.. hmm. Since for 22 yrs i din noe n it din cause much harm, i shall remain it that way then.
Next stop is Drug Info Service.. 6 weeks. Hmm this rotation, i will get to sit till my butt get pressure sores i suppose. Will be staying whole day in office, enriching my little brain and learning how to deal with qns by doc, patients, nurses who call in.. Phone operator. Hopefully, i get to catch up on my knowledge side in this 6 weeks.. I cant be a pharmacist who is good in interaction n soft skills yet hav no knowledge to offer or empower others.. that would b so sad..
Looking forward.. Hopefully, being a pharmacist is wat i m realli suited for. Hope i hav found my true calling
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